Caesar is Black

Dope Game in the Dope Game

Month: September 2017

Say No to Yes Men

Major key to success: saying no to the yes men.

A lot of people that trip up, especially once they get a bit of success, are the ones that surround themselves with people that never challenge them.

So instead of your crew telling you that the new business move you’re thinking of is going to be complete shit, they tell you that it’s a great idea and to throw your money in it.

At the end all y’all looking stupid.

If all you ever got in your circle is a bunch of cats that are gassing you up, no one is doing anyone any favors.

Instead, you want to cultivate reasonable dissent from the people around you.

That way, when you start taking wrong turns, someone will call you out and not just let you fall off.

This is also why you want a girl around that is willing to point out your flaws.

Women are great at this by the way, and a girl that knows you also knows how to stick a knife between your ribs.

That is a blessing.

Moral of the story is to avoid people that are going to blow smoke up your ass because you’re too good for them.

Instead, keep people around that will push you to improve.

Calls

Here’s why I think CALLS are better for these things and also why I use calls on any number I cop and also why I will always tell a girl “I will call you later this week” or text her something like that.

Especially if you’re coping a number from a quick interaction (and I’m thinking this also applies to online but I don’t do that so wouldn’t know) she needs to INVEST in you for her to want to come out.

Otherwise it’s just another number and even if she’s interested if she’s in high demand socially, her friends, work, other dudes, the latest episode off Netflix, and just about anything else is going to be more important than the guy she hasn’t met who is a social UNKNOWN.

So when I do get digits I will tell her to EXPECT a call, which is a bridge from when we first hit off and some future time that builds anticipation.

Then I will CALL her when I have down time. Answering a CALL is a lot more investment on her part than answering a text. It’s an UNDEFINED amount of time, she has to think on her feet, it’s way more emotionally stimulating than a text, etc. etc.

That’s when I will also probe her schedule and figure out when is a good time to put her in my schedule. That can all happen over the phone in about 5 minutes, and I can actually feel her out and figure out where she is in the buying process.

So now that you’ve talked on the phone and actually set a general time she is more invested in meeting up (she spent time on the phone, you were funny and good personality so now she’s curious, you got her schedule and figured out a time that works for her and you, etc.).

For girls that don’t answer, I leave a quick message and tell them to hit me back. Her calling me back is once again an INVESTMENT as she’s got to take time and do all that. A girl that doesn’t bother to CALL you back is the same girl that will text you back and then flake.

Girls that are responsive to CALLS and I can tell are more interested in kicking it get more priority to REWARD their interest. Just like she’s rewarded by an interesting convo when she answers my call.

I also don’t care about getting a girl on the phone a few times before I get her out. If she is busy that week or the times she’s throwing out don’t work for me I will let her know that I’m busy but I will CALL her again later on next week (cue cycle of anticipation and further investment).

Once we’ve got a time set, I will tell her that I will hit her up later to let her know that it is still on.

Another subtle thing is that I don’t put any of the pressure on her to meet up. I find out when she is free, I suggest a time that works, all she has to do is say yes. I’m pacing the whole thing and I take the ground of confirming and setting up a good experience that works with where I will be that day and what I want to do. Then I will let her know later on the day of that I am running late or whatever to confirm that she is still down.

If a girl is super responsive and in to me then I may text her if I’ve got some time to think about it. But if a date is set then I will usually just wait to rap at her IN PERSON and just text to confirm or send her directions.

If I’m just trying to get a girl out, then I will tell her tag along to whatever I’m doing that day. Since that’s just an offer, it’s no big deal if she doesn’t show or has other stuff to do and I don’t get angry if they don’t show.

I just CALL them later and set something up if I want to see her for real.

Mingle

Super helpful social frame that I’ve been running with recently is to roll with an energy and mingle.

Mingling looks something like this.

You roll in to the spot, you say what’s up to the door guys, you give them some dap and make some small talk. You ask them how their night is going. You maybe offer a cig and see whether there are a lot of people coming tonight or if there is an event in the area or whether they have seen the new dancer at 1Oak.

When you’re inside you make sure to chat up anyone who is in your vicinity. You’re not looking to hook anyone, you’re looking to say what’s up and keep it pushing to the next person. If there’s a bit of conversational back and forth then great, but the idea is not to get in to a 10 minute heart to heart. Move on to the next.

Some good ways to run this.

The basic question. Unassuming.

“How is your night going?”

“Do you come here often?”

“Did you get your drinks already?”

Etc.

Situational commentary 

“You’re third wheel tonight”

“They’re getting it on”

Etc.

There’s also some other ones like breaking touch, glass cheers, wave, smile, other action oriented pieces that aren’t full on words to the air type.

A few benefits to this approach:

1. Easy social contact with anyone you want.

Way more straightforward then coming with some roundabout way to open up a clique. If you’re being social with everyone then it’s a straightforward proposition to just add another group to your conversation or to drop another line as you’re passing by.

2. Builds out your energy for the night

Especially early in the night it pays to go around and talk to a bunch of people. It gets the energy up and opens you out to be a more social person. There is something around social momentum that you can use to bounce from one person to another because you’re being quick and light on your feet and doing short-term but valuable interaction.

3. No risk

Something I’ve been playing with a lot more recently but the mingle approach lets you take any motives out the equation and build out any fun that you’re going to have through your more subtle back channel approach.

4. Multipurpose

This works on all kinds of groups. If there’s multiple chicks then you run the same. If there are guys then you run the same. Mostly they will pawn off the social one to you or they will all participate in the conversation. Then you can choose to bounce out of the group or you can apply to the next person in the group to work your way around.

This all around makes it way easier to get in to a social mood and to bring an enjoyable energy to the environment, which is something that you should cultivate. Makes it way more fun for you to hit the streets if you actually enjoy yourself and the people around you are also enjoying themselves.

Get out there.

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