Super helpful social frame that I’ve been running with recently is to roll with an energy and mingle.
Mingling looks something like this.
You roll in to the spot, you say what’s up to the door guys, you give them some dap and make some small talk. You ask them how their night is going. You maybe offer a cig and see whether there are a lot of people coming tonight or if there is an event in the area or whether they have seen the new dancer at 1Oak.
When you’re inside you make sure to chat up anyone who is in your vicinity. You’re not looking to hook anyone, you’re looking to say what’s up and keep it pushing to the next person. If there’s a bit of conversational back and forth then great, but the idea is not to get in to a 10 minute heart to heart. Move on to the next.
Some good ways to run this.
The basic question. Unassuming.
“How is your night going?”
“Do you come here often?”
“Did you get your drinks already?”
“You’re third wheel tonight”
“They’re getting it on”
There’s also some other ones like breaking touch, glass cheers, wave, smile, other action oriented pieces that aren’t full on words to the air type.
A few benefits to this approach:
1. Easy social contact with anyone you want.
Way more straightforward then coming with some roundabout way to open up a clique. If you’re being social with everyone then it’s a straightforward proposition to just add another group to your conversation or to drop another line as you’re passing by.
2. Builds out your energy for the night
Especially early in the night it pays to go around and talk to a bunch of people. It gets the energy up and opens you out to be a more social person. There is something around social momentum that you can use to bounce from one person to another because you’re being quick and light on your feet and doing short-term but valuable interaction.
3. No risk
Something I’ve been playing with a lot more recently but the mingle approach lets you take any motives out the equation and build out any fun that you’re going to have through your more subtle back channel approach.
This works on all kinds of groups. If there’s multiple chicks then you run the same. If there are guys then you run the same. Mostly they will pawn off the social one to you or they will all participate in the conversation. Then you can choose to bounce out of the group or you can apply to the next person in the group to work your way around.
This all around makes it way easier to get in to a social mood and to bring an enjoyable energy to the environment, which is something that you should cultivate. Makes it way more fun for you to hit the streets if you actually enjoy yourself and the people around you are also enjoying themselves.
Get out there.