Definitely do no go to Paris.

It’s probably one of the final places left that you can let yourself go. Let those feral parts out of yourself to explore something that is outside of your usual norms and the usual shackles that you wear voluntarily.

The city has always been like this. The Great American Fredrick Douglas went their to applause and packed venues, even as he would have hung in his home town.

Because of that, Paris gets it’s share of hate from AmeriKKKa. Really, all this, just a confirmation that staying out of the mainstream is where it’s at.

If you’re actually looking to tear up the city then just follow along.


It starts at the airport, where if you’re coming in you’ll most like hit at CDG 2nd Terminal. Customs is easy and smooth with the Passport of your choice. It’s terrible cause you might actually want to say Bonjour to the cat at the border.

Helps to have a Paris made custom carry-on so you can skip all that baggage, so you can breeze through to the RER B and hop that to the city. If you’re smart you’ll cop a NaviGo from the ticket booth before you catch the train. It’s 25 euro for a week, and a bit more for a month for Zone 1-5. That will get you anywhere in Paris and the surrounding Banlieue.

Paris airport logistics mean that 30 minutes later you’ll land at Châtelet. The metro from there can take you anywhere in the city in less than 20 minutes. There are 20 Arrondissements in Paris. They go out in a spiral from the center of the city.

Easy logistics like this aren’t normal, and when you’re coming from a country that can’t even build a basic rail line that works it may just blow your mind a bit.

I prefer to stay in the 9eme or the 18eme, in Montmartre. It is well located in the city, and close to the spots to go out and the spots to see things. It’s got a small town feel and outside of the few tourist areas it is regular Paris speed, which means a unique blend of slow and fast life, high and low end.

For getting around you’re going to want to use your NaviGo to catch the Metro, so get to know your local stop and how to get where you’re going from there. Paris is super walkable, which is why it pays to post up in a solid hood. For the most part I’m able to get all the things I need, carnal or otherwise, a few short minutes from my door and without hopping on the metro. Late night, catch a car cause the metro is going to be closed, which is once again why it pays to have solid logistics.

Going Out

Paris has all the scenes you might want, and of course I was pitching my usual High-End blasting Low-End Theory moves, which were putting me at a lot of spots in the 18th, the 11th, and the Latin Quarter. I made good headway off a few spots around the Seine. If you’re looking for an early dinner, then don’t bother coming to Paris because it will not be your speed. There is none of the wack 6pm fare sub-par here. A lot of spots will be closed at that time. Crazy? Nah it’s just how things should actually work. You need the chef to prepare and the kitchen staff to be ready for your entrance. It’s not unusual to be starting out the night at 9, and kicking it at a big table with your crew until midnight before even starting in on the first course.

If you’re looking for a high-end spot then there are plenty to find, but avoid the Brasserie or Bistro on your local corner, which is basically just the hangout for locals. You want something that looks more like a hole in the wall that is packed with dresses and suits by 10pm.

It’s trivial to find this kind of spot in Paris, and it may be the city with the most high-end restaurants per square mile.

After dinner, you’re liable to be kicking it around chain-smoking out on the rooftop, but eventually you’ll figure out one of a few things to do.

There are a lot of kickback type joints going around, where you can lounge out, listen to tunes and smoke grits with the fly Parisian crowd. There are your typical club where all the tourists end up and you’ve got Top 40 hits. There’s underground spots where you’ll find cats pumping out beats and popping pills. If you’re connected, you can link up with a local group and there’s always people throwing parties at their flats and then making moves later in the night.

You need stamina to roll out in Paris because the night does not start for real until after 2 and you’ll keep going until the metro starts again in the morning.

This is another reason why Paris is not for the weak and can often steamroll cats who are not coming prepped and ready.

A lot of the up and coming places are over in the 11th by Bastilleand around the Canal St. Martin, so go check that area out if you roll through. The Latin Quarter is also good for the lower key vibe and you’ll find a bunch of college aid kids out smoking until late in the bars and restos in that area. If you’re trying to hit up tourists in the mega-club scene (word of advice is that this is a huge waste of a Paris trip), then hit St. Michel or Le Champsand ask around. There’s plenty to do off those streets, but you might as well have stayed just hit Vegas if you were looking for cheap American plastic surgery.


Paris is a cosmopolitan city, and the youth are down with the culture, so there is plenty to be had. All stripes can get it in, just ask around and don’t be shady about it. Cats are usually throwing out around the main clubs. I’m not a huge fan of Paris tree, but throwing it in a spliff is the main way of partaking there so I don’t complain. I got my hands on some dope pops though that kept me up for three nights straight without issue, and that was definitely a good time, so don’t be afraid to partake.

Things to do

Way too much to name, obviously if it’s your first time no one is going to look down on you doing all the regular tourist shit. But if you’re trying to get in to the actual scene then make sure to check out the arts district, a Marché Aux Puces, and a few museums. Hit up some daytime activities around the Seine or the Canal (see a theme here), where you can pretty much lounge out in the sun and hit on any fly chick that is walking by with the offer of some of your spliff or a drink. Of course you’re going to chop it up and offer more. There’s really nothing wrong with posting up in the beautiful parks and kicking it and watching life go by. Paris also has a long history of just bumming around seeing the sights, what they call being a Flaneur, so that too is something worth exploring.


Les Femmes in Paris are some of the flyest in the world, bar none. You’ll see a lot of fly dressing types and it looks like you stepped out in to a Fashion Week every time you are out on the metro. There’s none of that bummy looking stuff that plays well in Middle-America. Here, the chicks dress to impress and know how to keep themselves wrapped up to the 9s in the latest style. That means sun-dresses, rompers and heels in the summer, and fly coats and jackets in the winter.

French girls also have a look to them and I’m the type to fall in love about five times a minute there. There is a big portion of first-generation French as well, so you’ve got your West African, North African, and East Asian contingents well represented.

Really no need to be shy, speaking up about being on a short trip is enough to cop some digits and set up some other time to meet. Hitting it off with a light drink, transitioning to dinner and then seeing where the night takes you two is the easy move and really it doesn’t need to get much more complicated.

Girls speak English, but really you’re going to want French because it’s a beautiful language and you’re going to miss a lot of the fun of kicking it with a French girl without spitting in her Langue Maternelle.

French guys tend to be fine setting you up with their friends if you seem like a chill dude who can hang, and they tend to spit hot fire at chicks in general. There is a big divide between the regular French guy who can pull, and the dumpy French dude who is hanging on with a group of girls but can’t make a move, so scope which is which and get in with the right group.

Typical French groups are mixed, so you need some maneuvering skills, but once you’re in, you’re in for good and you’ve got a line on whatever else the group is doing the rest of the night and probably the rest of the month.

Chicks don’t really have too much hang up around their sexuality, and know how to use it, and respect you for not acting like you don’t know that she’s attractive and that you both want it. They will test the fuck out of you to make sure, but those are all easy when you actually have the goods.

All that said, what’s a typical rundown look like for a day in the city of lights?

You roll out late morning to catch an espresso at the local cafe and hit up some business deals real quick before stowing your phone the rest of the day.

Go and cop some new suit fabric in the 7th and chop it up with the Tailor who is going to take in a few loose items for you before an important meeting later in the week.

Walk down to the Seine to people watch a bit, and smoke grits out by the water. Cop a few numbers from a group of French girls that are out after work and make plans to meet up later in the night.

Hit dinner with an associate and pull two other fine girls posted up at dinner to your table for a good time and wine pouring in abundance. Have one of the girls from earlier fall through to the spot so it’s a merry party. She’s got some friends who are throwing a kickback in the 18th, so you all head that way.

Chill and smoke and drink and party with your new friends, and make some moves on one of the other cute things that is trying to act uninterested at the spot.

Roll out to a club on the water with the crew, and try to decide between the two girls that are all feeling you and all fine with which ever you choose. Choose one (or both) and make those moves back to your spot as the sun is coming up.

Really Paris is the blueprint for the kind of interaction where you hook early and enjoy the rest of the long night with a fine girl that knows how to move and knows how to make you want her.